Ken Deifik
Candid Camera Boulevard
Other Poems by Ken Deifik

Still Life with Plummeting Refrigerator
Candid Camera Boulevard
Washington to Escargot

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Are strolling down a thoroughfare.
It is early Spring, as should be obvious
If you live on a planet where such things happen
At the mentioned time.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Find a magic lantern, which they rub.
A pair of genie pants appears.
Nobody knows what to do next.
It is an awkward next several centuries.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Crawl up the ass of a pair of short short shorts
Named Schwartz, who was originally named Swarc
Which was also pronounced Schwartz,
Though by nobody and his sister until he changed the spelling
Just before the crawling up the ass incident.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Have blown up a building in a large metropolitan area.
Nobody blames them. Who would -- would you?
They continue living their lives under the radar
Until they decide to run for President.
Many Republicans vote for them.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Flap in the wind on a clothesline
On the green grassy hills
While Aaron Copland's music sings in their little hearts.
Not long afterward, people are wearing these pants,
People who never heard of Aaron Copeland,
Or if they did, they did only vaguely,
And when they hear of him again say
"Is that that Jewish guy?"

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
To their lute sing.
The lute wears a tie
And the tie wears a tie, too.
Each double string of the lute is composed of stringy atoms
And each atom wears a cheap, worn-out Panama hat
At a jaunty angle.
Each jaunty angle wears nothing,
But eats a pear in a most suggestive fashion.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
Watch a movie about shorts
That itself is not a short
But it's not like you wouldn't wish it was.
In it, a guy in lederhosen
Longs for a pair of really short lederhosen
And he goes on a quest, leaving his loved ones
And returning many years later as a hero
In really short lederhosen.
Good setup, good payoff, crummy second act.

A pair of shorts and a pair of short shorts
See a sign by a cafe that says
"Hear a woman who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars
Talk about her vagina."
Naturally they go in.
"We want to hear the woman talk about her vagina,"
They say to Frank The Pair Of Panties.
"With hillbillies like these guys, I will never go hungry again,"
Frank The Pair Of Panties to himself thinks

Ken Deifik iKen Deifik has read and performed at the Museum of Modern Art, the Philadelphia Art Institute, St. Marks Church, Beyond Baroque and the Mudd Club. His poetry has appeared in Ear Magazine and Barney. Lucio Pozzi published his book The Focus Puller in 1983. He was co-publisher of The Poetry Mailing List. Los Angeles composer Joyce Lightbody adapted his poetry for a choral composition. An installation of his poems was presented at PS1 in New York in 1979. Mr. Deifik created and was lead writer on the 'Inside Out' television series for Propaganda Films.

Mr. Deifik is also a musician. He has recorded and performed with Laurie Anderson, Bob Holman, Kenward Elmslie, Kathy Acker, Andy Statman, Marty Robbins, The Love Of Life Orchestra, Lawndale and Constance DeJong, among many others. Phillip Glass wrote his only harmonica music, "Lucy's Music" for him in 1977. In 1999 he composed and performed the music for Patrick Fraley's books-on-tape version of Huckleberry Finn. Mr. Deifik's CD "Big Fat Car Music for Harmonica and Guitar" will be available in the autumn of 2001.

All contents copyright The New Journal, 2002.